Here's how to avoid those disastrous, sometimes even maybe predictable breakages of your oh-so-precious tea sets/pieces...
- Do NOT leave any piece of antique, pretty, vintage, found/thrifted or just plain gorgeous and sweet tea pieces in the sink for careless/unaware/nut jobs to chuck in their filthy plates on top, resulting in your tea cup and heart, breaking into a million little pieces.
- Never ever let a terribly clumsy or drunk (tea cup wine drinking included) person anywhere near your tea set. Give them the cups/mugs/milk jug/tea pot that's been hidden in the back of the cupboard for a good long while, waiting for the next clumsy (or drunk) person to come along.
- Do never ever ever even bother taking your oh-so-precious tea set out when hosting a kids party, or have numerous amounts of children topped up with sweets running under your feet.
- Don't invite the Greek family around for high tea/afternoon tea/cream tea... if you get what we mean.
- ALWAYS make sure you have sturdy feet. Unless you are used to walking in 8" heels and may even possibly live in them do not drink tea from your grandmother's hand-me-down pretty tea set unless you want to take mosaicing up for a hobby.
- Try to always keep your precious tea set/pieces in a level, sturdy, reliable cupboard/cabinet/bureau even possibly within a level, sturdy and reliable box until the next time it needs to come out. And possibly maybe, even a padlock and chain (to keep those drunk friends at bay).
- Don't even bother trying to display your pretty little dainty floral tea set on that wonky shelf. Ever! You never know, a sudden gust of wind, slam of a door or even a rhinoceros falling through your roof. It's just not worth it.
- Even though it might be sweet and kind of nostalgic to give your Granny her tea in the sweet tea set she gave you, remember older people's eyesight and memory (Where's the table gone?!!) may not always be up to scratch, resulting in a tea stained carpet, a scolded cat and no more pretty tea cup to pass onto your kids when you lose your marbles.
- Maybe attach small, extremely strong magnets to the bottom of your tea cup and saucer thus giving you an extra reliable way of making sure that if there's any dangers, your tea cup and saucer are staying strong. It may even be worth putting some under each place on the table.
- Maybe just maybe get your lovely set out for your kids to adore (in a display case).
- Maybe consider using a sticky device or clip for those not so trusty teapot lids that inexplicably decide to flip off the teapot when pouring ones tea.
- Maybe tie your guests up and give them straws to drink their tea from whilst you serve them, making sure your little pinky is raised high in the air and your apron is fastened as tight as tight.
- Maybe give each of your guests a little tip (on a sly piece of paper) noting that you may turn into their worst nightmare (possibly mother-in-law territory) if there's a slight instance where a breakage may occur. Although, this may mean that your guests might not even return, but at least that tea set will still be intact!
- Do use a metal teapot. There's less chance that it will break.
- Do actually really let your kids have a look, touch and appreciate your finest adored crockery and keep for best.
- Do let your friends drink from this wonderful crockery too, subtly hinting that it may have been owned by a distant relative/you found it and you just adore it/it means a lot to you, as they will most likely take extra special care to make sure there'll be no chance of breakages (take off their 8" heels and calm the nerves of their extremely clumsy partner).
- Do invite that Greek family. They tend to only normally like breaking plates... we think.
- Do get a spirit level for sorting out that wonky shelf that would be a perfect place to display your set. (Rhinoceros's aside).
- Do attach Velcro to some gloves and the clumsy person's tea cup. They'll thank you for it later.
- Do probably invest in a dishwasher (if you haven't already) always making sure that your pieces are dishwasher safe!
- Do get your Gran some very special eye magnifying glasses, (so that her eyes look funny and you can have a little sneaky giggle with the kids) but at least she can still see that favourite tea cup she has looked after so well over the years.
And lastly... do in fact just plunge right in there, sifting/sourcing/thrifting/receiving those tea accessories that make your heart melt, that make you instanty want to cherish and adore them. And do share with your loved ones and pour them tea from your very best and give them cake. Laugh and love over that pot of tea, sharing parts of you and your life, in some ways that only a good cuppa and a generous serving of cake can do.